Monday, June 14, 2010

14/06/2010 My darling is dead.

My best friend died a month ago, when I was busy with travelling. I just heard it today. He was not only my best friend since almost 10 years, he was my big, unquestinable love. He knew everything about me, he gave me so many great moments in live, he gave me every single second the feeling beeing loved. And I was always so loving him and always so proud, calling him a friend of mine.
We were travelling together, living together, partying together and speaking about the serious things.
In the last time, I was busy with all the things, and our contact got low. Last month, when we spoke with each others, he told me he is still sick. This was some days before his dead. I knew he was serious sick but I did not asked further, because I did not thought about such a seriousity. He was a strong, healthy young man. Blessed with all talents, a person can have. And he was depressive. Of course, your mood goes down, if you are strong and healthy in general, but actual sick. ... That was my answer. All is easy, all is good, do not worry.
He has had real problems, and I was not listening careful... I was busy with my plans, my thougts, my silly problems and my life. And I regrett it so much.
And I hope I will do this mistake never again. Never. But how to realize this with this global challenge I am faced, and which I am keep on seaking?

Right now, I am feeling so bad. I cannot discribe. I will not discribe.

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